Love feels Scary (Poem on Foster Care)

Love feels scary
For me and for you

While, I know I will love you forever
I can’t say that out loud because our forever is not known

Love is hard, especially when frustrations rise
you hit, I cry
I scream, you hide
Neither of us should have to carry this pain of heartbreak inside.

And yet, that weight is debilitating at times

I face the reality that there’s not much I can do to take away your pain inside. I fall to my knees and pray that the God of all comfort come for you and comes for me.

I love you the best I can and squeezy tight. I strive to say truth over you when all you hear are the lies
You are loved
you are brave
you are smart.
You are strong.
You can do hard things.

Love feels scary because it can’t always be trusted. It’s been broken for me, and I know you carry that brokenness in unique ways that are unbearable for you too.

Heartbreak makes love terrifying.

My love for you is fueled by prayer, I love you with every breath, through every hard moment and with each laugh, even when love is scary we need it.

Both in my arms and beyond these doors, I sign on to love you all days.

Photo: Taken by our foster kiddo on an 2000s digital camera in our backyard. Somehow the beauty of this puddle with the flowering weeds just fits in my mind.